Writing for Credibility
By Ellen Jackson

Writing for Credibility
by Ellen Jackson
Copyright 2002 Offbeat Marketing.

Words are powerful. They have the power to heal, wound, persuade, inspire, inform, shock, or excite. They have the power to change lives, for better or for worse.

In business, the power of words is not to be underestimated. With the right words, people have made millions. With the wrong ones, they have gone broke.

Words are one of the primary tools of any marketer. Especially the Internet marketer. We don't have shelves filled with flashy merchandise. We don't have personable salespeople to meet and greet our customers. All we have are our words. And if we aren't believable, if our contacts don't buy a word of what we're saying, they won't buy our products and services either.

Marshmallows or Meat?
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Marshmallows are "fluffy". They provide no nutritional value. Even vegetarians won't argue with the fact that meat is a substantial source of protein. Is your writing "fluffy"? Does it communicate anything of real, down-to-earth value, or is it just "empty calories"? Here's an example of a "fluffy" 35-words-or-less classified advertisement:

$$$ ====== EARN $6,000 PER WEEK! ===== $$$ AMAZING BUSINE$$ will make you RICH beyond your WILDE$T DREAM$!!! NO experience nece$$ary!!! Don't pa$$ up thi$ INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY!!! $$$ CLICK HERE NOW $$$ www.yeahright.com

Think nobody writes ads like that? Think again. I've seen very similar ads at the Free-for-all classified sites.

So what's fluffy about this ad? First of all, "$6,000 per week" and "no experience necessary" just don't belong in the same ad. Really. Sure, it's theoretically possible to build up that kind of income, but not without a whole lot of trial and error experience.

How about "amazing" and "incredible" and "rich beyond your wildest dreams"? Do you believe that? Neither do I. No program, product, or system is THAT good. Get Real.

All those dollar signs and exclamation points don't help either. What on earth is the advertiser so gosh-darned excited about? Well, that's the point - what ARE they excited about? They don't say. Are they afraid that if they tell us what they're advertising, we wouldn't want it? More likely, it's an attempt to get us to click through if we want to find out. Not a bad tactic, if used correctly, except that the ad leaves me with no desire to find out more. I don't have time for hype.

Let's add some meat to the ad and see what happens:

HEALTH, WEALTH AND PROSPERITY: HIGHLY PROFITABLE business lets you EARN while you LEARN. MILLIONS have been made selling VALUABLE INFORMATION online. Get your piece of the action at www.alittlebetter.com

That's better. We've toned down the obvious hype, still got a few "excitement words" in there, in a more realistic way. We still don't know what the product is, but we're pretty sure it's not Avon or gold coins, it's Information.

Can we improve on it even more?

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE!
Ken Evoy's "Make Your Words Sell!" is the fastest selling product of its kind! LEARN these POWERFUL EXPERT TECHNIQUES, then become an affiliate and EARN! LOTS of help for "newbie" entrepreneurs. http://myws.sitesell.com/offbeat.html

That one I'd think about. Why? First of all, it communicates quite a bit of valuable information in 35-words-or-less. Here's what the reader already knows, even without clicking (assuming the advertiser is being truthful):

* The advertiser is selling an ebook product. * It teaches readers how to use words to sell effectively. * It teaches the powerful techniques that the experts use. * It's a quick seller (therefore it must not be overly expensive)
* It's backed by a well-known name in the industry. * It has an affiliate program. * It's "newbie friendly" and provides lots of help.

The ad catches the attention of product seekers and affiliate program seekers alike, and the headline is a catch-all for both.

Considering that the ad is 35 words long, and it took me nearly 100 words to tell you what I learned from the ad, I would say that this ad definitely has MEAT.

One of the best resources around for learning how to write effectively for online business is Ken Evoy's "Make Your Words Sell!" If you're familiar with Ken's award winning Site Sell products, you already know they over-deliver and are well worth the small investment. Check out "Make Your Words Sell!" at:
http://www.offbeatmarketing.com/resource/myws.html

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Ellen Jackson is the publisher of Offbeat News and the owner/webmaster of Offbeat Marketing. Visit Offbeat Marketing to find information and top quality, affordable resources for building your online business at http://www.offbeatmarketing.com

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